PERIOD TALK

Rupi Kaur

It is 2019. This is the year of TIMES UP and women’s marches. Female empowerment is trending. The prime minister of New Zealand breastfed her baby IN parliament for crying out loud! Oh, and a movie about periods won an Oscar. Women’s issues are in the forefront, but STILL women’s healthcare is light years behind.

The CDC just came out with a document that states that stroke in “women under 45 is increasing” and clearly states the risk of birth control in combination with high blood pressure or diabetes, but their is very little education regarding the risks for young and middle aged women. A topic that really makes me crazy is menstruation post brain injury. Yes, it is still taboo, especially in medicine. Sure, we have tampon ads that present model stick figure people doing ridiculous things like dancing sexy and smiling to represent our experience. Yes, the general public knows what a period is, but it isn’t something that your primary doctor or a specialist outside a gynecologist is comfortable speaking about. Your neurologist sure as hell is not going to ask you “how your lady time is coming along?,” so this issue falls through the cracks. Women find themselves in chat rooms or facebook pages with horrible advice and tons of snake oil salesmen.

Honestly, I am guilty of feeling uncomfortable talking about it. I have sat with so many women and discussed these issues and problem solved post stroke, but still I felt nervous writing about periods, because I felt gross about my own experience. I realized in listening to a Jonathan Van Ness’ podcast, “Getting Curious, with the director of that movie “Period. End of Sentence” that I was dealing with some unconscious shame surrounding my period. BARF. Are. You. Serious?! I was so mad!

Here I was driving home from work, listening to my favorite podcast and trying to relax, when it hit me like a dump truck to the baby maker. I have shame about my period? X-squeeeeeeze me? That is the lamest true story EVER. I knew it was true, because even before I listened to this podcast I wrote this essay. It had been sitting in my draft file for months, but I didn’t have the ovaries to press post.

Well, I’m showing up today. This is for you stroke survivin’, life thrivin’, period crushin’ babes out there. I have woman’d up. Lets talk about your PERIOD post brain injury.

 The Three Disagreements:

Blood thinners, use of feminine products, and fatigue are post brain injury facts of life that disagree with your period. In fact, they are world war two stylze in conflict with one another. Can’t we just return to the red tent where all the ladies get together during their monthly flow and take care of each other?! Whine, sigh, audible groan. Bah. Well, even if I am not there to rub your feet and make sure you rest. We CAN, for sure, discuss all the ways we can make this experience less horrendous.

 

Blood Thinners:

I have heard of Docs taking women off their blood thinner for the week or so of their period. This is one solution, if you are stable or a long term stroke survivor. For most, this is not an option.

One solution is the hormonal IUD. This lessens your period and sometimes takes it away completely. This could be a good choice, if you are struggling with your health in general and need a reprieve. I generally hate the idea of putting more stuff in our bodies, but if you really can’t deal (and that is A-OKAY) talk to your OB about this option.

Lady Products:

If you are still having your periods and are on blood thinners then we need to talk management and that is when we get to difficulty of use issues. Remember the day you inserted your first tampon? Wasn’t that a lovely experience. Seriously, who thinks these things up. Lets just shove some cotton up there. Well cotton is better than what we are currently getting served up. Again, I am partial to the idea that we should put the least amount of chemicals/hormones in our bodies possible. ESPECIALLY, after stroke.

If you are using tampons, spend the extra cheddar on cotton ones. Here is a great website called Lola that sends tampons and pads sans nasty chemicals each month. Its pretty cool a little subscription and your get your lady products. Also 10% of their products go to homeless women.

 

Diva cups are great. I don’t usually recommend, because I haven’t used them personally  (I should though) and they are not the easiest to insert, so would be very difficult if you have hemiplegia. Small word of caution, if you are having memory troubles post stroke, think about skipping tampons. Toxic Shock Syndrome is the last thing you need at this point. If you are using pads, make those cotton too. Here are some good ones from amazon. Also I recommend the wingless ones, because they are easier to unwrap one handed.

 Period Panties:

Some women use depends, especially in the early most stroke months, no shade this is a viable option. I just hate the diaper look and post stroke messes with body image, so much most of us could do without the diaper look. Which leads us to period underwear, a Godsend if you ask me. That’s right ladies, we are moving backward and forward simultaneously. Woman have been using these undies for a long long time, but now we have the technology to make them look cool and absorbent at the same time. I like the look of THINX, because I am young and fashionable like that (insert cheeky smirk). These undies hold up to two tampons worth. They are great for using as a protection against leaks or for light days. They wash easily and feel nice.

Fatigue:

This is a HARD one on good days. Your OT probably went over energy conservation with you or the idea that energy is not an infinite resource any longer. Energy post stroke is a very limited resource, a precious resource. Finding energy post stroke and on your period is like trying to find electricity in Puerto Rico one week after hurricane Maria. Its non existent. Regularly, you need a nap everyday, even if your years out. Days when your menstruating you will need to allow yourself more time to rest and it is a good idea to modify your routines.

 

This isn’t a new idea. It is an idea we have kind of forgotten. We need to care for ourselves and LISTEN to our bodies. I hear a lot, but “I can’t rest,” “I have to much to do,” or the very legitimate complaint about needing “to work.”  Adapt as much as you can and soothe your body as much as you can during this time.

 

Sleep when you can, even if it is 10 minutes in your car during lunch time.

Take mental breaks to conserve energy, close your eyes at your desk.

Drink tea, raspberry tea helps.

Go to bed early. No phones. No technology.

Take a hot bath.

Get your nails done.

Get a massage or have your caregiver give you one.

Feed yourself greens, healthy fats, and proteins. Stay away from refined sugars (except for chocolate— I’m not a sadist).

Take Care of yourself, my friends. XOXO Jane

P.S. I am a small potatoes operation. I do not get money for mentioning products. I just seriously like them and think they will help. XO